Can’t Catch a Break

I don’t know about you but there are days when I feel like I just can’t catch a break. Today is one of those days.

The dismal weather outside reflects my poor mood now. I can’t shake it and not sure if I want to.

  I’m always struggling. I struggle to lose weight, live a healthy active lifestyle, and catch up financially. I get discouraged easily, especially when things don’t work out as planned.

My weight loss isn’t really happening despite my efforts. I feel like I lose a few inches and then gain it back the next week. Granted I did eat some cake and a cupcake for Bugaboo’s birthday but other than that, I haven’t been eating unhealthy or eating a lot of food. I haven’t worked out this week but I had the stomach virus earlier and just haven’t felt up to it. I will get back on track with that on Monday.

I just wonder why it always seems so hard for me. Some people seem to have it all and are naturally fit and can eat whatever they want and not gain a pound. Then there is me who eats a hamburger and gains 5lbs. I wish I knew what it was like to not constantly struggle with my weight or eating habits. I’m so tired of battling this endless war.

I don’t know what the deal is. I feel better and healthier than I have in months, but when I tried on a new pair of pants last night at Kohl’s, they were the same size I’m in now and fit perfectly. I didn’t want the same size pants to fit me perfectly. I wanted them to be too big! Shopping for clothes is depressing. I thought some retail therapy might improve my mood but it only made it worse.

Thank heavens my mom and sister were with me and were able to cheer me up a bit, but still… I want to see some big changes that stick and not yo-yo back and forth. I’m ready for change! I’m ready to get back into all my old cute and stylish pre pregnancy clothes.  I’m almost to the point of saying forget losing weight the healthy way and bring on the diet pills and diet shakes, because I know they worked before, lol.

I know I’m not going to give up just yet, but if I don’t catch a break soon… I don’t know.

There are other things I feel like I can’t catch a break on… finances… or getting ahead at work… it has been crazy lately. On the other hand, the crazier it becomes, the more motivation I have to study for the GRE and get into graduate school. The only way to ever advance in the field of social work is to have your masters and LCSW license… I’ve put it off long enough, but after looking at what some starting LCSW positions are paying… my butt will be hitting the books this summer. One civilian social work position with the Army was offering over $25,000 more than what I earn now… so, yah… instead of watching a movie before bed with Man-Child, I will be working out math problems and brushing up on vocab terminology.

OH! And to add to my pity party… somehow I’ve misplaced one of Bugaboo’s hats, my iPod, new video camera, and my favorite designer sunglasses that I’ve had for over 5 years. I almost want to say I’ve been robbed but don’t really think that is the case. I just can’t find anything! The house isn’t even a mess. I’m losing my mind… I swear. It’s so frustrating to lose things when you know they are expensive items… just blows my mind. So, I was unable to record Bugaboo’s birthday or his priceless shrieks and facial expressions when he opened up his present to find his own helmet.

There is just a lot going on and instead of being positive and making the most of it… I’m sulking and throwing myself a pity party. But I can only throw it until 5pm because after work, I have my good friend’s wedding rehearsal and dinner to go too and the maid of honor cannot be sulking at such an event!

Wishing everyone a happy, safe, and fun-filled weekend!

PS

On a more positive note, I did plan my meals for next week. I couldn’t sleep last night so broke out an old weight watcher cook book from the 80’s that my grandmother gave me. Found some good stuff. I’ll share next week.

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14 Responses to Can’t Catch a Break

  1. you’d probably do better if you just stopped worrying about what’s wrong with you and focus instead on what’s right! that way you’d have more confidence and confidence begets more confidence until – quite honestly – you won’t care about what’s ‘wrong’ with you at all!

  2. Dianna says:

    Aw……so sorry things aren’t going well for you right now. They’ll turn around. But I know it’s hard to wait.
    That wedding should cheer you up! That’s special to be maid of honor. Hope you have a good weekend, and that you find all the stuff you lost.
    We’re here whenever you need to vent!

    • Thanks for the cheer-up. Things have turned around this week. I found Bugaboo’s hat and that was it. I’m about to play private investigator this weekend and seach every nook and cranny until I find my missing items!

  3. Keiffy says:

    Everything will be fine sis… it will all work out… have you looked under the couch or in the abyss you call the trunk of your car… lol… anyways have a great weekend and have fun at the wedding… if you need to talk call me 🙂 love ya

    • ha-ha, funny, little bro. “Abyss you call the trunk of your car”… a real comedian you are. Yes and No. I’m emptying it out tonight and going through everything. It is going to be the neatest trunk anyone has ever seen after I get through with it tonight. 🙂 Love and miss you.

  4. NanaBread says:

    Sometimes we all need to throw ourselves a pity party or have a good cry. It’s good for the soul, since we are such emotional creatures. The key is to pull out, shake it off, and start fresh. Just remember… you’ll never accomplish anything if you give up, so keep trying and keep moving forward. Eventually, the pendulum will start to swing the other way. And your lost items will eventually turn up. Have you looked in Bugaboo’s room? He’s old enough now to be getting into his “clepto” phase. Next is the “flushing everything down the toilet” phase. Ah, the joys of motherhood!

    • I completely agree. And that is exactly what I did. I was feeling better the minute I saw my friend at the wedding rehearsal.
      I will never give up. I don’t want Bugs to be a quitter and what example would I set for him if I did that? I’m back on track!
      Thank goodness we have not reached the flushing things down the toilet phase, but I know it’s coming because he now knows how to flush a toilet and it has become a game to him…

  5. I’m sorry I’ve not been around to comment on your blog and others like I normally would do because I’m at my parents place in Montana for one more short week.
    I hope you’re feeling more like yourself by now.
    Keep finding those positive things to focus on no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. It becomes a habit and then it seems we don’t see the other junk quite to easily.
    Ditto what Dianna said about us being here when and if you need to vent.
    Happy Memorial Day!

    • Montana or blogging… what blog? 🙂 Enjoy yourself! I hope to make it out there one day… beautiful. I love all your photos from there, especially the bison.
      I felt guilty abou ranting on here and woe is me… I’m blesesd beyond words. This past month, people lost their loved ones and homes in the tornadoes and I’m whining about my weight and some material goods. Once I thought about that, I was fine. My positives outshine the negatives!

  6. grommom says:

    Hope the weekend went well after all…:) And we all have seasons like that. Just make a decision to start a new “season” full of success and positive things. Sometimes I even make a bit of a (mental) game out of it and just “decide” to change how I am feeling. You know–positive begets positive!
    I know it isn’t always that simple, but sometimes it really is. I know, we are complicated beings, aren’t we? 🙂 But you aren’t alone!
    Have a great week and don’t give up!
    m

    • thanks for the advice! I actually used it the other day when I started getting really frustrated at work. I just decided to change my attitude and it worked! Ended up having a good day. 🙂

  7. mommygems says:

    Sometimes this feeling can’t be helped. I know a lot of us feels the same way. Whenever I get so down like this I think of all the blessings I have, however it still doesn’t work. lol. 😉 So I just let the feeling pass. I hope you’re ok now!
    Mommy Gem

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