I wake to the pitter patter of little feet on the wood floors and to a tired sleepy voice whispering “mommy” and “nuh-night.” I pull my baby up on the bed and watch him as he snuggles under the covers and reaches for my hair.
He breathes in my hair, rubs it over his nose, and wiggles in even closer to my body.
I kiss his touseled thick blonde hair and whisper, “I love you.” “Love you too,” he says before uttering “nuh-night” and closes his long beautiful lashes.
I smile to myself and think it is not humanly possible to love this child anymore than I do right now in this moment.
He wakes up early most mornings and wants to lie in bed with me until it’s time to get up and dressed for the day. Of course, he is not ready to wake up and wants to ensure that I’m not about to get up either. If I start to climb out of the bed, he sits up, points to the pillow, and tells me “nuh-night.” That is his way of saying, I’m not ready to get up and neither are you, so let’s sleep in for a few more minutes.
I look at my phone. An alarm goes off with a message telling my lazy bum to get up out of the bed and walk. I look back over at my boy. He is telling me to go “nuh-night.”
I glance back at my alarm and then back again at the blonde hair blue-eyed angel rubbing his sleepy eyes and pointing to the pillow.
What kind of mother would I be if I said no to my child so early in the morning?
A horrible one indeed.
I would crush him.
I would devastate him.
He wouldn’t be able to function properly for the rest of the day because his mother rejected him and made him go back to sleep on his own. He would be in therapy years later and say, “It all started one morning way back when…”
No, I couldn’t do that to my baby. My walk could wait… I’m going swimming later in the afternoon I reason with myself. I will swim some laps and do some water exercises to make up for lost walk time.
Yes, problem solved. I’m a genius.
We both win.
I turn off the alarm.
Wake back up at 7:45… need to be at work by 8:00…
Jump out of bed… grab clothes laid out the night before (way to go me!)… throw Bugaboo’s swimsuit and rash guard on for water play, throw on my clothes, toss hair up in a messy bun, pinch my cheeks, slosh on some lip gloss, grab the already packed daycare bag, and dash out the door.
8:02am: Pull up to daycare, look in the rearview mirror, and see my baby bopping his head and kicking his feet to Bob Marley singing “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right. Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!”
Again, I think to myself… I can’t love this child anymore than I do right now.
My baby, Bob Marley’s biggest smallest fan. 🙂
8:10am: Late for work… Totally worth it.